Lasting Memories

Nan Engler Ray
Aug. 11, 1934-Nov. 8, 2025
Menlo Park, California
Submitted by Lauren Ray Lamb

Nan Ray of Menlo Park, CA passed away peacefully on November 8th. She was 91 years old. Nan is survived by her children, Lauren Lamb, John (Cynthia Lyon) Ray, and Paul Ray and her grandchildren, Kevin (Tiffany Marchbanks) Ray, Robert Lamb, and Alison Lamb. She was predeceased by her parents, Agnes Flach Engler and Paul Edward Engler, her husband, John Charles Ray, and her son-in-law, William Lamb. A Celebration of Life will be held at St Bede’s Episcopal Church on December 11th at 4:30p.m.

Nan was born August 11, 1934 in Omaha Nebraska. She graduated from Brownell Hall and went on to attend the University of Nebraska, earning a bachelor’s degree in English. There she was a member of Kappa Kappa Gamma, participated in synchronized swimming, and sang in the choir. After college she moved to California with her lifelong friend, Sally Baumgartner. Through Sally she met her husband, whom she married in 1958. Living in the Bay Area was a joy for Nan. She loved spending the day at the ocean and became an excellent cook. She developed a deep love for plants and gardening that would be her passion for the rest of her life. But most importantly she made friends that she cherished to the end of her days.

Nan was involved in many volunteer organizations in her life beginning with The Peninsula Volunteers and The Peninsula Children’s Center Charter Auxiliary, for which she served as president. As her children were completing their schooling, Nan returned to college and earned an associate’s degree in horticulture. This led to her participation in the inaugural docent class at Filoli. She then instructed docent classes there, worked in fundraising, and helped care for the gardens. Nan was a member of the Atherton Garden Guild, serving in many capacities. She volunteered at Strybing Arboretum for about thirty years, work that enriched her knowledge of plants and brought her new and interesting friends.

Nan’s special interest was rhododendrons. She was a member of the De Anza Chapter of the Rhododendron Society for 40 years, serving on their board and in every other role asked of her. She judged and participated in many flower competitions, delighting in the ribbons she won. She worked with the directors at Strybing to introduce rare Rhodie species to their collections. Her crowning recognition came in 2020 when The American Rhododendron Society presented her with the Silver Award for her deep involvement and outstanding contributions to the Society and advancement of and knowledge around rhododendrons. Nan loved to travel. From Russia to the Easter Islands to New Orleans, she delighted in visiting new places, seeing gardens or bird watching. She frequently traveled with her friend, Will Smith, who was equally curious about the natural world and shared her love of rhododendrons. Nan was an avid reader, claiming an hour daily around lunch time to read the newspaper and her beloved mystery novels. She was a dedicated birdwatcher, always up for a day trip to the wetlands or anywhere she could encounter new and interesting species. She was independent, strong, and a forward thinker. She believed that women were equally capable in this world and that action was power.

Nan’s children would like to thank Po, Enrique, Alma, and Maria who cared for Nan and made it possible for her to continue to live in her beloved home to the end with ease and comfort.