Lasting Memories

Paul M. Lufkin, Sr.
Jan. 8, 1924-April 15, 2015
Palo Alto, California

Paul M. Lufkin, Sr., died peacefully at his Palo Alto home recently, at age 91. A classic example of "The Greatest Generation," his long, full life encompassed the Depression, World War II and the early days of the Silicon Valley, when he joined an up-and-coming company called Hewlett-Packard Associates.

A devoted volunteer, in 2001 Paul was given a certificate of appreciation by the California State Assembly, and a Volunteer Recognition Award from the Palo Alto Junior League and the Volunteer Center of San Mateo County for his longtime work with Stanford Hospital's Lifeline Program. He was also recognized as a Golden Donor at the Stanford Blood Center, and was active at All Saints Episcopal Church, where he served on the vestry for a number of years, including as senior warden.

Paul was born in Dunkirk, New York, attended Haverford in Philadelphia and graduated from the University of Pennsylvania (where his father, Harold Lufkin, taught mathematics). He enlisted in the Army in the middle of his sophomore year at Penn and was sent to Oak Ridge, Tennessee, the atomic production site for the Manhattan Project. It was there that he met the love of his life, Betty Ann Cole, a chemist. They married at the Oak Ridge chapel in 1948.

His first job after graduation was as a field engineer for RCA. He and Betty moved around the country before arriving in Palo Alto in 1960 and buying the classic Eichler home where they spent the rest of their lives. He joined HP Associates in 1963 and worked there for the next 25 years in engineering, sales and marketing roles. He traveled widely for his job, visiting Europe, the U.K., Japan, Hong Kong and Singapore.

Although his family had deep roots in New England dating to 1666, he loved living the California dream, which included owning a number of spiffy convertibles, from a Chevy Impala to a Fiat Sport Spider. He and Betty became active community members, joining the University Club, volunteering with various groups, attending church every Sunday and raising three children, who referred to him as Pops.

Betty passed away in 2009 after a long illness. Paul is survived by Paul M. Lufkin Jr. of Palo Alto (Mary Daily), Liz Lufkin of San Francisco (Robert Steinberg) and Tom Lufkin of Potsdam, New York (Petra Kraus, Leon Lufkin, Sina Lufkin). The family is grateful for the devoted care he received from Tara Fatiaki-Davis, who became one of his best buddies in his later years.

For many years, Paul was part owner of a Santana 22 sailboat, and he spent countless happy weekends sailing the San Francisco Bay. That is, when he wasn't in his garage tinkering with electronic equipment, making furniture or creating the occasional piece of found art.

After retiring, Paul worked as a Census Taker, delved into genealogy and traveled the U.S. and Europe with Betty, all the while continuing his volunteer activities. In addition to Lifeline, he was active with the Coalition for Excellence in Science Education (CESE), as was Betty.

Like many people of his generation, Paul sent an annual Christmas letter. Back then, "The Lufkin Line" mortified his kids, but in retrospect their sweet tone and philosophical musings are poignant reminders of a life well lived. Here are some excerpts -- Paul M. Lufkin, Sr., in his own words.

1959: "We now seem acclimated to Michigan weather since our move a year ago in August, but not to Michigan politics. This is the most unbalanced state we have seen -- only OUR budget is in worse shape."

1964: "Thomas, six in November, had his first birthday party and reached the magic time of allowance. It takes almost all of Saturday to spend that quarter ... In March, after numerous false starts, Paul Sr. quit the weed, gave up smoking and promptly gained an extra 10 pounds of blubber at the beltline."

1969: "This year has passed so swiftly for us that it hardly seems possible the holiday season is here again. Have you noticed they seem to go by faster these days? ... As we look back over the past year we see, with humility and thanksgiving, how truly rich our lives have been, and we hope that is equally true for you."

1970: "Paul, Jr. is in his senior year at Cal-Berkeley and making plans for Grad school if the draft doesn't get him. He's on the staff of The Daily Cal (and) has discovered the power and influence of the pen and the prestige, with resulting responsibilities, of the byline... This completes our 10th year in California and it has been a long time since we saw many of you. May your holidays be especially happy ones and the New Year your best ever. PEACE."

1976: "Suddenly the house is quiet for long periods of time; Freyja, the black Labrador retriever, wanders disconsolately from room to room; the phone rings hardly at all, the refrigerator is mostly devoid of large quantities of milk and ice cream, all because the last of our brood has taken up residence in Berkeley."

1977: "We reached a couple of milestones this year; Liz became 21 and published an article for the first time! We're all down the road (but not over the hill!) a little piece further... After 17+ years in California, we still love western-style living; drought, smog and taxes notwithstanding."

1983: "Paul, Sr. is approaching the big SIX-OH early in January, some kind of milestone, to be sure! Betty is close behind and taking it rather better than most. To celebrate the longevity a tad in advance, we all-too-briefly vacationed over Thanksgiving weekend, (visiting) Phoenix, Tucson and environs. It is a marvelous and different and wonderful world."

1994: "Having turned the corner, so to speak, into our septuagenarian decade we decided it was time to work on the fitness of our aging bodies more seriously than heretofore. To wit, we took to the newly upgraded fitness room at the University Club ... Well, we've been at it over ten months now and the results are mostly in how we feel, great, rather than in how we look, old!"

1996: "It isn't exactly a rut but looking back it seems as if the smooth groove of our life in retirement and the ruts do look a lot alike! As we approach age 73, the horizon seems a bit closer, but at the same time, less distinct."

1998: "1998 was our 50th wedding anniversary. We celebrated by going back to Oak Ridge and traveled a bit in East Tennessee, visiting the Newfound Gap in the Smokies and the now-declassified X-10 site ... The town itself is depressed as the government shuts down and spins off more and more to private ownership resulting in a net decline in jobs. Five years ago the place still seemed vibrant. Great real estate buys if you don't have to earn a living. It's kinda sad."

2002: "This year we watched the world change around us in a BIG way. Our own little world has sort of shrunk down to our home in Palo Alto and the lives of our children. The biggest changes are in their lives and we watch in wonder as they cope with change and challenges. Tom's life has changed most dramatically. This year he made us grandparents! Of all the kids, we least expected him to be the one to give us a bloodline grandson. His wife Petra Kraus presented us, and the world, with Leon Jaden Lufkin on Bastille day (July 14th)."

Especially in his later years, he was a fount of aphorisms and amusing catchphrases, and made liberal use of wartime lingo like SNAFU and FUBAR. Once, when asked the secret of a long life, he turned to the camera and sagely advised, "Don't die!" Other phrases in regular rotation included "Better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick," "God willing and the creek don't rise," and "Illegitimi non carborundum" ("Don't let the bastards grind you down").

But the one he used most often in later years was "Ta ta for now." Even when Parkinson's disease made it difficult for him to speak at the end, he would still whisper goodbye with that classic sign-off. So, ta ta for now, Pops. Ta ta for now.